2 min read
My 15 year old daughter is always asking me if I am excited about things that are coming up. Even though I am usually looking forward to whatever it is that she is asking about, I can never quite bring myself to say that I am excited about it.
Excited is a strong word and I find it hard to muster enough energy for that kind of strong emotion when thinking about going to the movies, or out for dinner, or going on a trip.
My daughter seems to have no trouble with it. She is always excited about something. I was attributing this to her youth until I participated in a communications workshop where they gave us a list of commonly used “affect” words to describe feeling.
The words were separated into categories of Emotion (i.e. Happiness, Fear, Anger) and Intensity (Strong, Moderate, Weak). As I was reading the different words I realized that I very rarely, if ever, use the strong words for happiness – excited, thrilled, delighted, overjoyed, ecstatic, elated, jubilated. I do use the moderate words for happiness – good and happy, but I more often use the weak words – pleased, glad, satisfied.
Okay, so again this could be an age thing – too much energy needed to get worked up about things. However, when I looked at the words for anger I realized that I have no problem using the strong words like furious and angry to describe my emotions at times. In fact I am more likely to use strong words to describe all the more negative emotions – sadness (depressed, miserable), fear (afraid, frightened, scared, overwhelmed), and uncertainty (bewildered, confused).
It’s interesting that I can muster the energy to be angry but not to be excited. Perhaps it is not an energy thing after all. Perhaps it is an age thing – or my perception of what it means to be an adult. Children get excited and delighted, mature adults get pleased and glad. However, it is quite acceptable for a mature adult to get angry and overwhelmed.
Now I’m thinking it’s time to stop being quite so mature and adult and turning the volume down on happiness. Sure, it’s okay to be pleased, glad, and satisfied sometimes, but it’s also okay to be excited, thrilled, ecstatic, elated, jubilated, overjoyed, and delighted as often as possible.
Insight - Clarity - Growth 
True, true, true. Very insightful.
I’m always excited, exuberated or thrilled about something. When I chose to be happy it changed the way I thought about life. Before the words going through my head were p*&%*ed off, angry, hurt and unhappy. Choose to be happy and let those positive EXCITING words come to the surface… by the way it’s not an age thing (as I’m coming close to the 60 mark) its a love life thing. If you have to – fake it till you make it
As for me, I think being “excited” requires a mindset of thankfulness. I too often have to control my emotions to manage the tough stuff of regular living. But when I do stop and direct my mind to find the good things in my daily life, it is clear there is way more to be thrilled and ecstatic about than the dreary. Thanks for this conversation…I needed it today!
Thank you Lisa….so true. As Diane said, all too often we feel we have to control our emotions around our day to day excursions. Could it be partly because we don’t want others to wonder if we should be ‘locked up’ for getting excited about a mundane task? As such, we inevitably tone it down without any awareness that we are doing it. ‘The Honeymoon Effect’ is the ultimate immune booster ‘out there’. We just need to learn how to be in that place all the time. Thank you for sharing Lisa and Merry Christmas!!