3 min. read
Lately I’ve been seeing a lot in the media about how it’s okay to ask for help. I found a rough version of my own story about asking for help. I’d filed it away. Now seems like a good time to share it.
A few years ago, our daughter was very ill and it took over a month to get to the cause of the problem and get the treatment she needed. Needless to say, it was a very stressful time for our family.
We were doing everything we could from a medical perspective and it wasn’t getting us anywhere. It was such a rollercoaster ride. One doctor after another with a possible diagnosis and treatment … and then no improvement and sometimes even worse symptoms. It was extremely hard seeing my beautiful daughter suffer so much. Pain and tears almost every day and nothing I could do!
It wasn’t easy to ask for help but I felt so helpless. Just typing “Request for Help” in the subject line of the emails was hard. I don’t know what I expected – people to say please don’t bother me with your problems. But that’s not what I got.
I reached out to some energy healers I knew and they connected me to a Therapeutic Touch distance healing group. It doesn’t matter whether or not you believe in the power of prayer or energy, there was something beautiful about total strangers sending love and support to my daughter. All of a sudden I wasn’t helpless. I knew lots of people were sending love and positive energy to us. I can’t even begin to tell you how comforting and supporting that was.
Several people who received the distance healing emails contacted me directly because they recognized Kathryn’s name. One person knocked on our door to say hello and see how she was doing. Others offered to come and give Kathryn in-person treatments. The love and support was amazing. It helped me get through Kathryn’s illness, eventual surgery, and difficult recovery.
After Kathryn’s recovery and return to school, I went out to a women’s networking meeting. I had been part of this group for over 15 years but that night I felt very out of place when I got there. Like I didn’t belong there. Other women talking about business and life as usual when I had just been through a nasty ordeal. I was tempted to just smile and say “I’m fine” when asked, and keep my story to myself. However, I decided to open up about my experience and I was glad I did. Once again, the love and support were amazing.
In talking about “Communicating from the Heart”, Pema Chödrön1 describes how “Everything you say can further polarize the situation and convince you of how separate you are. On the other hand, everything you say and do and think can support your desire to communicate, to move closer and step out of this myth of isolation and separateness that we’re all caught in.” I realized that by sharing my story I let go of the isolation and separateness. I communicated from the heart and I received heartfelt communication back. I felt part of the group again.
As Brené Brown2 says, “Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.” I was brought to tears with gratitude and appreciation many times throughout this experience. There is so much love out there. People care and they want to help. I am so glad I opened myself up and allowed them to help me.
1 Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion by Pema Chödrön