Stories

Posted on May 4, 2011 by Lisa Ivaldi

3 min readOrange FlowerMy husband and I have recently been learning more about mindfulness and I’d like to share one of the concepts with you.  Now, I am by no means an expert, but I find this very interesting.

The concept regards the everyday stories we tell ourselves which then become our reality.  For example, I was recently picking up some tickets from a local Ticketmaster outlet.  I’d ordered the tickets online months ago.  I handed over my credit card and driver’s licence but for some reason the system would not allow the clerk to print my tickets.  The clerk had to call Ticketmaster where she was promptly put on hold.  I was fine for about the first five minutes.  I was leaning on the counter watching the clerk through the glass while she waited on the phone.  Then the story started to form in my head.  These were very popular tickets that I had bought for someone else.  So my thought pattern went something like this – maybe my online order didn’t go through and that’s why they can’t print my tickets – I knew this would happen – I hate ordering tickets online – I didn’t bring my confirmation number – they better refund my money – but that doesn’t help me, I really need these tickets – I’ll never be able to get tickets now.

I’m not sure how long this lasted before I realized I was totally making this story up in my head.  None of it had actually happened.  I was still leaning on the counter looking at the clerk who was still on hold.  However, my mind had taken me on a journey to the imagined future – and it wasn’t a pleasant future.   This imagined future was causing me stress.  My reality, on the other hand, just involved waiting.  Luckily, I did manage to turn the story off and just wait.  Another five or so minutes went by and the clerk finally connected with someone, confirmed my mailing address, and presto – printed my tickets.

My mind had taken me to a stressful place that was completely imagined.  We get caught up in these stories all the time and don’t even realize that we are causing ourselves stress.  What I am working on now is being mindful and recognizing when my mind starts to wander off into something other than what is actually happening right now.

As Mark Twain said, “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

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Letting Go

Posted on March 25, 2011 by Lisa Ivaldi

2 min readBridgeLetting go usually isn’t easy, and for this reason many of us hold on to things much longer than may be in our best interest.  Most people don’t like to quit – unless they are quitting something harmful like smoking – or more specifically, feel like quitters.  So how do you know if you are quitting (perhaps seen as failure) or letting go (perhaps seen as moving on)?

I recently made the decision to stop running an annual event that I really felt was a positive and inspiring event.  I’d been running this event for three years and the feedback from participants was always very positive.  The only problem was it wasn’t a profitable venture from my perspective.  I spent too much time and energy on the event in comparison to the payback for me.  Now I know this sounds a little mercenary but in the big scheme of things, I have to make a living.  So in the end, I struggled with the decision, which I knew was the right one, but it was hard to let go.  It was hard to “quit”.  However, now that I have let go of this event, it has left space in my schedule, in my mind, in my stress level, and in my spirit.

I realized that the game changes with every move we make.  Our moves or choices completely affect the outcome of the game – they move it in this direction or that direction.  You can’t know how the game would have played out if you had made a different move, because that different move would have completely changed the game.

I’m glad I made a different move and I’m looking forward to seeing how the game will play out.  I’m looking forward to seeing what will fill the space I’ve created by letting go of an unprofitable venture and moving on.

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Choices

Posted on February 25, 2011 by Lisa Ivaldi

2 min readLily PadsI’m still working on doing something new every day this year.  I don’t succeed every day but it definitely forces me to take a closer look at the choices I make every day.

After all, life is made up of a series of very small choices.  Do you want tea or coffee?  Do you want to read a book or a magazine?  Dr. Martha Beck, a popular life coach, calls this paying attention to your warmer/colder reactions.  Remember playing warmer/colder when you were young?  Someone would hide something and you would look for it only guided by their telling you if you were getting warmer (and closer to it) or colder (and farther away from it).

So what if we tried living our lives that way?  If we based every small decision on what makes us feel warmer, how could we not have joy-filled lives.  Dr. Beck uses the example of trim-tabs to illustrate how this method works.  Trim-tabs are tiny rudders attached to the back of larger rudders that steer huge ships.  The big rudders would snap off if turned directly.  Just moving the little trim tab builds a low pressure that pulls the rudder around.  It takes almost no effort at all.  Every life is a series of trim-tab decisions and these decisions steer your life.  To quote Dr. Beck, “Making consistent trim-tab choices toward happiness is what steers the mighty ship of your life into exotic ports and safe havens …”.

You can read Dr. Beck’s whole article at https://www.oprah.com/spirit/how-to-overcome-fear-and-break-free-from-old-routines/all

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Stop Paddling

Posted on February 11, 2011 by Lisa Ivaldi

3 min read
CanoePicture this, you are in a canoe.  It’s just you on a river.  The current is strong and moving in the opposite direction.  You know where you want to go and you know you have to paddle hard to get there.  You are focused and intent on reaching your goal.  All of a sudden, you lose your paddle.  You have lost all control of the canoe and it slowly turns and starts moving in the opposite direction and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Now imagine that this story is a metaphor for your life.  Yikes!  You’re on the river of life with no paddle.  Today I’d like to suggest that maybe not paddling is a viable option in life or perhaps the only viable option in life.  I first heard of this idea through a presentation by Esther Hicks.  Esther Hicks is perhaps most well-known for her book on The Law of Attraction.  Now one caveat here, and I urge you not to shut off your minds just because this is a little out there, Esther Hicks channels a group consciousness or spirit called Abraham.

Okay, so life is a stream and we need to go with the flow and not paddle against the current.  But how do you stop paddling, how do you go with the flow?  Esther explains that you will know that you are paddling against the current if you feel a point of relief by doing something else.  For example, someone told me that I should join a particular association and go to their conferences.  So I went on to the association website and looked at the conference and the membership information and it caused me stress.  I really didn’t want to focus my attention on this association and go to their conference, but I thought I should because someone told me I should.

Then Ester’s words came back to me, choose what makes you feel better not what makes you feel worse – choose what gives you relief.  I realized I’d been paddling toward the association and that this was my point of relief.  I realized that I would feel relieved if I left the association’s website and put the whole idea of joining it out of my head.  And I did feel better.  I hit the exit button and felt instant relief – I went from negative emotion to positive emotion.  I realized that I had been paddling toward the association because someone said I should go in that direction and now I was back going with the flow.  Every time we make the choice to do what feels better and not worse, it is our point of relief and it turns us in the direction of the current again.

So I encourage you to stop paddling.  Listen to your positive and negative emotions and go in the direction of what makes you feel relief or feel better.  You’re not lazy or unfocused.  You’re just creating a life filled with positive emotion.  So, drop your paddles and see where it takes you!

You can view a short video of Esther Hicks speaking on the stream of life at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTMx3LFCuPE

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Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

Posted on January 28, 2011 by Lisa Ivaldi

2 min readHigh RopesWell, January is almost over and most days I’ve done something new.  I’m finding that it’s really pushing me outside of my comfort zone. Sometimes it’s something small like trying a new dish at a restaurant – FYI chilled paw paw soup is very good!

Other times it’s something a little bigger.  On vacation last week, we really wanted to go snorkelling but couldn’t find any tours on the day we wanted.  We had met a guy on the beach who had a boat and said he would take us snorkelling.  After much discussion we decided to take a chance – we gave him our cash deposit, with no receipt, and hoped that he would be there the next day as arranged.

Well it turned out to be one of the best days of our vacation.  What this really drove home to me is that sometimes we let fear hold us back.  We almost didn’t go because he didn’t have an office and a receipt book.  There was an element of risk.  Not a huge risk – we had seen some other people come back from one of his boat trips with all their body parts intact – but we could have lost our money.

So try stepping out of your comfort zone occasionally – shake it up a bit.  Sometimes you may be disappointed but other times you may be very pleasantly surprised.

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The Power of Yes

Posted on January 14, 2011 by Lisa Ivaldi

2 min readRainbowI’m now two weeks into my plan of doing something I’ve never done, every day until I turn 50 in August.  This is proving to be much tougher than I thought.  Some days I really have to push myself to find something new – even if it’s just buying and preparing some new type of vegetable I’ve never cooked before – think mashed sweet potatoes.

However, last week it did push me to say yes when a colleague asked me if I wanted to be her guest at a seminar the next day in London, ON.  My first reaction was to say no – it was such short notice, it was supposed to snow, it was in London, I would have to get up at 5am, I would have to reschedule another meeting, I would have to make arrangements for my husband to take my daughter to dance class, I would have to get up at 5am (did I already mention that).

It turns out the seminar was just what I needed.  It got me motivated to “be in business for real” and helped me get focused and disciplined.  I’m very glad I said yes.

Very often our first reaction is to say no.  It keeps us in our comfort zone.  We don’t have to push ourselves very hard.  It’s easier.  But there are consequences to saying no.  By saying no, we know exactly where we will end up – right where we are.  On the other hand, by saying yes, we don’t know where it will lead us.  So next time an opportunity comes up, and it won’t harm you in any way, try saying yes and see where it leads you.

For a fun example of seeing where saying yes can lead you, check out the Jim Carrey movie Yes Man.  You can probably rent it from your local library.

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Insight – Clarity – Growth

Posted on January 2, 2011 by Lisa Ivaldi

2 min readPink FlowersWelcome to the first post on Insight – Clarity – Growth.

The purpose of this blog is to pass on information that I have found interesting or useful and that will hopefully help you on your path to, you guessed it, Insight, Clarity, and Growth.

2011 is the year that I will, hopefully, turn 50. As I was lying on the couch on New Year’s Day, feeling a little groggy from staying up until 2am on New Year’s Eve, I thought it would be kind of cool and symbolic to do something I have never done before – every day until I turn 50 in August. Easier said than done! Today I did my first blog post. Yesterday I didn’t do anything new but I borrowed from the day before when I did two new things – used a GPS to get somewhere and took Oil of Oregano (which just has to be good for you, because it tastes that bad).

I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

And now for the information I’ve found interesting and want to pass on portion of the blog …

Patrick Mathieu passed this TED video on to me. It’s very interesting and enlightening. Here’s to living Wholeheartedly in 2011. Happy New Year!

TED Talks Brene Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share…

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

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